In talking with Sir these last few days has been a real eye opener for me personally. Sir, has said he would push me to grow and although I know I need this very much in my life right now. The thought has been a bit frightful. I have only had limited experiences in the BDSM lifestyle and want to see things develop more for me personally and that is just what Sir has been doing.
He has been allowing me at first to choose what I wear to work to giving me two choices of what I wish to wear and sending him the pics and then he will choose what he wishes me to wear. This is very hard for me honestly. I am allowing him in to my bubble so to speak. I am not a person who likes to let anyone in close to me. Clothing hides a body I am not particularly fond of. I will say it beats having to send him pictures of my body so I thought ok you can do this. Then he took it a bit farther and ask for me to show him my breast. While at work mind you! So, after much thinking and debating inside my head trying to find a way to get out of this for many good reasons of course. I walked in the bathroom at work and just did it. However, for a large busted women the first pic of me with the bra on was fine but when it came to me holding them lifted for him that proved difficult! After laughing at myself I did managed to get him one good pic. Thank goodness for time delay on the phone 🙂
One day while waiting on my boyfriend to get off work I am in the parking lot and texting Sir. He tells to start touching myself there in the parking. I am thinking is he crazy this is the busy time of the day and people are constantly walking by and would see. He tells me no they can’t see you only you will know what you are doing. So, slowly and reluctantly I moved my hand down in my pants and inside my panties and lightly begin doing as I am told. It was hard b/c I was more focused on people watching to make sure no one noticed but as I kept doing it and thinking about Sir watching me I begin to let go and enjoy myself. I wanted to please him and thinking of him cuming all over me as I am doing this for him sent me over the top. I have to admit I was worried but no one noticed and I felt free afterwards.
Then, on Saturday I was given my task. I promptly jumped to work on doing as I was asked. Although due to real life I was not able to take a picture of clothing choices for the day. 😦 So, as I was online waiting for Sir to appear and dealing with my boyfriend in real life I was a little bit sad. I feel at times ignored and not desired at all by my boyfriend. I was talking to Sir, regarding this and he begins giving me instructions on how to get my boyfriends attention. At first I am mad that Sir would ask me to do this when I am obviously mad at the boyfriend and don’t want anything to do with him at this time. Sir, asked me that I get naked and sit on the couch and see what boyfriend does. I laugh thinking he will not even notice. So, I jump up thinking well this is an easy one 🙂 I get on the couch and boyfriend never looks up from his computer. I am thinking ha I told you. I wait and keep talking to Sir and he tells to play with myself and moan. I am thinking this is hard I don’t want boyfriend to notice. I do as I am asked and nothing but then Sir, begins to talk to me about a scenario and I am really getting hot and bothered. Sir, has my complete attention at this time and I am so wet when all the sudden I notice the boyfriend standing over me and he takes my laptop shuts it and places it on the coffee table. He looks at me sternly and ask me why I didn’t tell him I was naked? Oh, the thoughts that are going through mind at this point would have had my butt completely on fire had I spoken them out loud. I say to him I don’t know you were busy. He quickly spreads my legs wide apart, pulls down his pants and makes me take all of him in my mouth. I am enjoying this quite a lot when it escalates from there and ends up in a very unexpected scene played out nice and rough on the couch and floor. Our windows completely open as this is happening and though I am looking at the window at times worried people might see in I am at the same time turned on thinking about someone seeing us thanks to Sir’s little scenario earlier. Once, my boyfriend has completely used me to his satisfaction and I am able to walk again I get back on the computer but find Sir has gone. This makes me sad. I send Sir an email to ask for his forgiveness. Sir responds a bit later and I am happy he’s not completely mad at me. He then instructs me to go to the bathroom right now and cum for him thinking of his dick this time. I do as I am told. I have to admit cuming for Sir was not hard thinking about him taking me in the forest as he described earlier and this time I didn’t care who saw I just wanted to feel him inside me.
Today, as I am writing this I am a bit sad. I have only had email contact with Sir and I am really missing him. I love the way he pushes me and I love feeling more confident and free sexually.